In “Why Does He Do That?”, domestic violence counselor Lundy Bancroft will help you equip yourself with the ability to protect yourself, both physically and psychologically, and at the same time grasp methods to improve or exit a violent relationship safely.
I have worked with angry and control-minded men for fifteen years practicing as consultants, assessors, and investigators, and have accumulated a great deal of knowledge from the more than two thousand cases I have participated in. I have learned the warning signs of violence and control that a woman needs to be wary of at the beginning of a relationship. I was beginning to understand what a man in control really wanted to say, the meaning hidden behind his words. I have seen clues to identify when verbal and emotional aggression is about to lead to violence. I find a way to distinguish violent men who are pretending to change from those who are genuinely trying to correct themselves. And I learned that the unexpected problem of violence has nothing to do with emotions a man-of, my clients, really not much different from the men-not violence experience their emotions-and everything which is related to the way of thinking of him. The answer is in his mind.
However, I am happy that I have the opportunity to gain this insight, I am not one of the people who need it most. The ones who benefit most from the abuser’s knowledge and way of thinking are Women. They can use what I have learned to help themselves realize when they are being controlled or disregarded in a relationship, seeking to escape violence if it is happening, and how to avoid getting involved with a violent man — or someone who likes to control or take advantage of — next time. The purpose of this book is to equip women with the ability to protect themselves, physically and psychologically, from control and angry men.